


To hear your voice is enough - but I wish there was more...

by koalaoshiz



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, I forgot Kaltenecker in the tags. Shame on me. They are such an amazing character, Keith & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Lance & Shiro (Voltron) Friendship, Langst, M/M, S6 Spoilers, each character will have their own dedicated chapters, my boy died and no one reacted in canon so I'M GONNA TAKE THIS HAMMER AND FIX THE CANON, second part is when the ship begin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-05-24 13:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14955896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koalaoshiz/pseuds/koalaoshiz
Summary: Lance's nightmare are not something he talks a lot about, even when they shake him to his core and let him unable to breath properly. No one seemed to react to when he died but that was fine, right? Until someone notices and use the quiet hours of the night to talk to him.





	1. When you are alone

**Author's Note:**

> s6 murdered me and buried me in T-pose, tea bagging me in the process. I just wanted to write something for my favorite blue boy because he deserve all the attention and care in the world.

Lance gasped as he wake up, fists tightly grabbing the sheets over his body. Cold sweat pressed his pajama uncomfortably over his chest and shivers wracked his body as he tried to regulate his breathing into something less likely to send him into hyperventilation. 

There was only silence around him, in the Red Lion’s sleeping quarters but his mind buzzed with the crackling telltale of electricity, making him on edge even after sitting down on the bed and looking at his surroundings. Everything was in place - at least the few things he took when they had evacuated the Castle before making it explode - and Kaltenecker was outside Red, protected by the barrier that also prevented the cow from escaping. Not that it would have went far anyway. 

Slumping over his tights, Lance took better control over his breathing, tapping his fingers into a low rythme he knew was effective for regulating. 

Five in.

_Don’t think about it, don’t think about it -_

Hold for seven.

_Don’t think about how it had hurt when your muscles spasmed and locked themselves, don’t think about how your own ribs refused to expand and let you breath -_

Nine out.

_Don’t think about the pain, about the fear it brought when your lungs couldn’t work and your heart stopped in your own chest, don’t think about the fear that gripped you when all you could do was scream and scream until your own brain shut down and everything went quiet._

Rinse and repeat until your lungs accept the oxygen and you regain control of it, taking measured gulps of air. 

Lance’s eyes drooped a little but he quickly shook himself out of that drowsiness. Even if he could, he knew he would not be able to go back to sleep, not after this type of nightmare. It’s a wonder no one worried about his lack of energy or humorous quips lately as he struggled to be as lively as he was. But there was a time when it was too much for one to endure and Lance knew he was near his tipping point. Especially after gaining back Shiro and seeing him so frail, so unsure of himself. 

There was a part of him that was jealous he was everyone else’s center of attention but he always snuffed that out whenever it reared its ugly head; Shiro didn’t deserve that. The poor guy had it way worse than him Lance could only hope his sleep was less disturbed than his own. 

Nevertheless he had died. Not for long but it had been enough for Lance to start distancing himself from the others even though they were heading back to Earth. It would take some times with the lack of Teludav and Wormholes but they would make due. The planet they were currently on was nice enough to rest even though the meteor showers deemed necessary the use of their Lion’s barrier. 

Tripping over his own feet on the way to the small bathroom, Lance counted in his head to shake off the tremors left in his hands.

One, two for Pidge and Matt, who had joined them as soon as his sister told his their plan to get back home, sleeping soundly inside of Green, two Lions down on his left.

Three for Hunk in yellow, the Lion directly neighbor to his, on his left. The food was also there, no risk to die of starvation and the planet was full of goods to pick for the road later on.

Four, five and six were Allura, Coran and their new companions Romelle, sharing quarters in Blue, on Red’s immediate right, four mice accounted for as well. Lance was glad they found another Altean but knowing how and why they come to meet her, his heart squeezed more tightly. Reminding him no one was ever safe in this universe.

Seven, eight, nine. Keith, his mother and Shiro, in Black who was sitting in front of the other Lions as if watching over them. lance still couldn’t believe Keith aged of two years, even more bringing with him his weird teleporting dog/wolf pet. His mother was a bit off putting at first but nice enough if you knew her and some things about Keith just clicked for Lance - that god awful haircut, to begin with. But both of them were good choices to watch over Shiro, especially in his weakened state. 

Ten. Himself. In his Lion, alone. With only the bare minimum to keep him company, to keep his mind off _dying_ and on something more productive than a panic attack. He didn’t have a lot left beside his cow. Everything else seemed unimportant. He even left his jacket in the Castle. 

A faint buzzing in the main room area made his mind reel and his breath catch until he remembered that it was the sound of his communication device going off. The noise it made was obnoxious but calming enough but he couldn’t really let it ring all night. He needed to take that call. He sat back on his bed after taking the tablet from where it was stashed in a side drawer and frowned seeing who was calling him. His fingers pushed the accept button before he really made his mind but it was too late to do anything, now.

“Lance?”


	2. -Keith-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith version of the call.  
> A talk was definitely needed after all they went through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith had always been a character that I found hard to write but his straightforward mind and his honesty is vey refreshing to see. He is earnest in everything he do and that is really something good to see in someone.
> 
> This can be seen as platonic or romantic but I can't deny these boys are good for each other, be it when they bicker or work together.

“Lance?”

His breath caught in his throat as he looked down at the fizzling black screen. His mind had a hard time getting back on track due to his nightmare and subsequent panic attack so he tried to shake it off.

“Are you here? The screen is black.”

“Uh, I… Yes, I’m here.” he answered, rubbing his palms on his pants to get rid of the sweat. “I dropped it a few weeks back and it refused to work properly, not that Hunk hadn’t tried to make it work again. It’s just that broken.” 

“Good. I mean, not that it’s broken but that you don’t, you know, avoid to look at me more than you do these past few days.”

Ouch. That one hurt but he kinda deserved it. He had been avoiding Keith as much as it was civile for no other reason but his feeling of inadequacy and the fact the situation about Kuron and Shiro had been resolved by Keith so quickly despite him being the one who had been trudging into it since the beginning. Since Keith left for the Blade. 

“Sorry about that, it won't happen again.” Lance said, voice wavering only slightly.

“Can you meet me outside?” Keith asked, voice hesitant, still sounding worried. “Shiro finally fell asleep and I don't want to bother him.”

There was a pause after this sentence as if none if them truly wanted to hang up. Lance especially didn't want to leave the slim security blanket the broken tablet gave him.

“The meteor shower stopped for the moment, so I'll be here in a minute. And, Lance?”

“Yeah?” He felt his heart beat slightly faster, not the hammering of fear and dread but something more fleeting, more careful. 

“I missed talking to you.”

With that the communication ended and Lance felt himself moving one of his cold hand to his cheek, snuffing the rise of temperature into a more controlled one. 

He missed talking to him as well but there was no way in hell he would admit it. Christ, Keith was so amazing, why would he lose his time with someone like him? Lance was just basic, the normal not so special guy compared to Keith. Compared to Shiro, to Hunk, Pidge or even Matt. Most times he was just… lucky.

Sighing, he got up from his bed, toeing around for his shoes before making his way out of Red and onto the warm night. The two moons shone enough light for him to see comfortably around, spotting Keith immediately from where he was standing next to Kaltenecker.

“You already have a wolf, don't go trying to steal my cow.” Lance teased, awkwardly shuffling his hands on his sides when he realized he didn't have any pockets in his current outfit. So he settled on crossing them over his chest.

“I wouldn't be able to even if I wanted to, I am no match for Kaltenecker's stubbornness. You are way better at handling her than I am.” There was fond humour in his voice and his eyes were glinting under the moonshine. It was infuriating how he was now taller than Lance.

“We have a deep, mutual understanding, that's the secret. She knows I have found to eat and I know she loves company. It's a win-win with milk bonus.”

And here was that smile again, a bit sad on the edges. Like things he wished for were just out of his reach and he was settling for other's expectations.

“Lance… did I do something-”

Lance interrupted him, not wanting Keith to think it was something he did and needed to repair on his own. No, the fault lied with Lance.

“I'm sorry it looked like I couldn't stand you.” His voice was shaky at first but he pulled through, for the sake of their friendship. “I mean, we're friends Keith but there was so much left unsaid between us and then you left for the Blade while we were struggling to find a foothold in the mess that had fallen on us and now, I can't think properly because I haven't had a goodnight sleep in a long while… I’m just a mess these days.” 

“You can't sleep? Why?”

The question was oh so genuine, Keith's eyes were so full of worry Lance didn't have the heart to lie to him like he did to Hunk. Gosh he was so weak against him.

“I can still feel it, Keith. I can still feel it, I can't sleep because my nightmare always come back to that moment before I died.”

The moment was frozen on a soap bubble, growing, growing and taking more place than it should for something so fragile before it popped as Keith shook himself out of the stupor the sudden news inflicted on him.

“You, what… you died? Lance!-”

“I mean, it was only for less than five minutes anyway and Allura did some mumbo-jumbo magic stuff to resurrect me and I'm good as new, I promise! It's just…”

Lance sighed as he sat down near Kaltenecker's hooves, looking at the ground so he didn't have to face Keith's expression.

“I can't shake it off. It's clinging to me and I can't sleep without it jumping at me from a nightmare and I can't even stand near Hunk’s portable workshop when he use his tools because the noise reminds me too much of that. I… I feel pathetic to know that I'm slowly hindering the team-”

“Shut up.” Keith snapped, kneeling quite abruptly in front of Lance. He didn't even Lance finish squawking in shock before the red - no, wasn't he still the blue paladin? - was engulfed into a tight hug.

“Wha- Keith?!” Lance's mistake here was that he didn't react faster because the hug only got tighter in answer to him tensing taught like a wire.

“I can't believe you’d be this stupid!”

“Geez, thanks-”

“You're worse than Shiro and I'm the one taking care of him. You died, Lance and I can only imagine it had hurt a lot-”

At that Lance snorted because there had been nothing he could compare it to. The bomb incident on Arus was but a vague memory with an almost uncomfortable warmth in his bones he could describe as 'pain’. 

“That's not funny, Lance!” Keith detached himself from the hug to hold Lance at arm length. “You died and I can only imagine it had hurt a lot but you're here hiding your trauma behind quips and false smiles. Insomnia, avoiding buzzing sounds and you nearly chewing Matt’s head off over a friendly remarks are symptoms of PTSD.”

The grip on his shoulders wasn’t really comfortable but it was grounding as Keith searched his face for… something and obviously couldn’t find it.

“Does the others know, at least?”

This time Lance didn’t even tried being dismissive, only shifting his gaze so he wouldn’t have to look at Keith’s face, his hands picking at the scratchy grass under him. He half shrugged before answering.

“I mean, Allura definitely knows because she was the one who get me back to death. And… now you.”

This left Keith speechless as he looked at Lance for a moment longer before drawing him back for another hug. Now that Lance was more prepared for this way more tactile version of Keith, he leaned into it and his hands rose from the ground to grip at keith’s stupidly short jacket, tears welling up and sliding behind his closed eyelids. Watery traitors.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone, lance?”

Lance could only sniffle, thinking back at everything that had occurred and how his suspicions about Lotor had been mocked, mistaken as jealousy. How his guts were telling him something had to be wrong with Shiro after Olkarion but the clone had been alive, with his own thoughts and worries and how he just imputed on his renewed PTSD and not something like ‘being a clone and being manipulated by a bitch.’

“I just… everyone needed up so busy and I couldn’t tell Hunk because he had a lot on his plate.” Lance sobbed, still trying not to cry to much but it just kept coming and he needed the relief that came after pouring your heart out. “I didn’t want to throw what I thought was just bad temper at them and now Shiro came back and he had it so much worse than I do-”

“I’m stopping you here, Lance! Stop comparing what happened to you to what happened to Shiro. Both experiences were horrible. You both died for fuck sake! But that doesn’t mean your own experience means less.”

“Who are you and what did you do to socially awkward Keith?” Lance asked jokingly, sniffling and shuffling closer to the other boy so the hug would be more comfortable. The good thing is it made Keith laugh a little, his wider frame shaking slightly with the movement. That soothed Lance slightly.

“It’s been two years, you tend to learn some things when your mom is around. I’ve always been honest but now I’m more able to say what is on my mind without being ‘awkward’ as you put it.”

The slight movement of Keith arm made Lance snort, rubbing at his eyes to shake the tears off.

“You made the air quotes.”

“I didn’t.” denied Keith, a sly smile on his face as Lance pushed him. “Are you feeling better?” This was asked in a softer voice and Lance turned his eyes to the sky, to the moons who were visible behind red’s barrier.

“A bit. It helped; I don’t think I’ll be myself for a long while but… talking helped. Thank you, Keith.”

They lapsed into silence after that, lying close to the other, comforting and in the moment. There was the faintest glint of stars, hidden by the barrier and the moonshine and Kaltenecker chewing not far from them was a familiar background noise that soothed his frayed nerves. It felt good to just be here. Lance knew he wouldn't heal after just a talk, he knew his fears would return tomorrow. He knew his sleep will stlil be plagued by nightmare for a long time. Knew that he will have to come clean to his team about it and how it made him feel but for tonight? It was enough to mute the static in his brain, enough to let him breath propoerly. talking about it had been good. Not being shamed for being in distress had been helpful. He just wished this night will last longer. Just a little longer.

" _I missed talking to you too_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really hoping everyone asking for Keith liked it!! I've been writing nonstop to deliver something good and genuine. Lance deserves all the hugs in the world!
> 
>  
> 
> Next chapter will be Shiro's turn! So if you prefer him, you can jump to his chapter; the beginning and overall content will be dealt on the same bases but differently as every characters on this show is unique and really interesting to work on.  
> I am also currently working on the second most asked which are Hunk and Pidge. Parental figures (Coran, Krolia) are being planned (mostly because I still have some difficulty with Krolia but I'm getting there!!)


	3. -Shiro-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro.  
> I just find his character so calming, he's so great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiro had been through a lot during all these seasons. He deserves to relax, to take some times for himself and to come back as strong as he can be.   
> Trauma and PTSD are not to be taken lightly, folks. You need time to recover, people to talk to about it and a calm&safe environment to heal properly. It does not go away immediatly or in several weeks. Sometimes, it takes years and everyone who tried to feel and get better are heroes in their own rights.

“lance?”

His breath caught in his throat as he looked down at the fizzling black screen. His mind had a hard time getting back on track due to his nightmare and subsequent panic attack so he tried to shake it off.

“Hey Shiro,” thank god his voice didn't waver or crack. “Couldn't sleep?” 

“I slept maybe, two hours but it feels so… I don't know… not wrong, maybe weird?”

Lance hummed at that. It must have been really tough for Shiro to find himself being dead and to have to deal with the knowledge your team basically adopted a clone of yourself. But how could they have known? Kuron sounded so genuine. He probably had been, before Haggar took control.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lance asked, cursing the fact he dropped his tablet weeks ago and forgot to ask Hunk to repair it. It resulted in the screen and the camera not working, often an hassle when he got contacted.

“Yes, if that doesn't bother you. But can we go outside to do it? Keith and Krolia are sleeping, I wouldn't want to wake them up. And… It is making me nervous not to be able to see and touch the person I talk to.”

“That's no problem, dude. I think the 'rain’ stopped so I'll join you outside in a minute.”

“Sounds good. Thank you, Lance.” 

The communication cut and Lance groaned outwardly, hiding his face in hands. It wasn’t as if he didn’t want to talk to Shiro or being near him but he still felt the guilt lingering in the back of his head. The thought of being so useless in noticing that the Shiro they had hadn’t been their Shiro, but a creation so alike they still would have been fooled if it weren’t for Keith, ran deep. Keith and his stupid superpowers that apparently included “save the goddamn day, every damn time he did something as simple as entering a room. 

Lance should have known something was wrong with Shiro after ‘stepping’ out of the mindscape and hearing him call after him, only for the man to be dismissive about it when Lance asked a bit later. He should have known when ‘Shiro’ had been losing his temper more and more often but the genuine way he felt guilty and apologized afterward reminded Lance that he had been trying to stay afloat, to stay ‘himself’. Lance could only think fondly of the M&M game they had played together and how the clone had been so intent on being a Paladin. 

Being a paladin. That was all he wanted. To live. To laugh, to be as nerdy as possible. Yet it all came to a stop because he hadn’t been their Shiro, just a creation of the horrible witch Haggar.

And that body now hosted the mind and soul of the ‘original’ Shiro. Lance knew he wasn’t the only one who had some difficulties adjusting to the news and Lance was pretty sure he wasn’t the only one who felt guilty not to have seen it sooner. But this wasn’t time to dwell upon the past; Shiro, his friend, needed him in the present and not focused somewhere else. 

Lance needed to shove his mourning and guilt aside to concentrate on Shiro here and now. Shiro who was still weak from his resurrection, missing an arm and probably horribly stressed from the whole ordeal. Shiro who was still his friend even though he had missed several months of it. Perhaps Black let him get informations from time to time? This was definitely something to ask. 

Groaning again at how complicated the situation was, Lance placed the tablet on his bed, careful not to drop it again. He didn’t need any more reasons for Hunk to berate at him to take more care of his belongings. 

Pulling on his shoes, he patted the interior of Red’s mouth as he slowly walked down the stairs, looking around for Shiro. He was there, just as he said, using his left hand to pet Kaltenecker who was appreciating the attention. The cow was just so chill with anything, it was kind of hard to get her something she disliked. Apparently not being with Lance was one of these things. Who could have guessed that a cow would appreciate his presence so much.

“Ahw you don't match anymore.” Lance said with good humour, crossing his arms over his torso because he unfortunately didn’t have any pockets. Shiro lift his head towards him, a small smile etching on his face. It was temptative and a bit shaky but it was there. Good. Being somber didn’t suit him that well.

“Thank you for agreeing to talk, Lance.”

“Dude, I wouldn’t be able to call myself your friend if I didn’t like spending time with you.”

“Everyone is just so hesitant with me, I can honestly say it’s making me crazy. I’ve even thought you were avoiding me.”

Uh oh, abort mission, abort mission! That was too close to the truth for Lance to be comfortable because he had been avoiding Shiro. But for his defense, the man had been sleeping 24/7 since he had been brought back to the world by Allura. It had been easy not to go to him to talk or anything else. and on the rare moments where he would go outside and walk, Lance always made sure he was busy doing something, far away from him.

Man, what guilt can make you do. 

“Nah, Keith just told me to go easy on you, since I can exhaust anyone with my sparkling personality. Your body took quite a shock in such a short timeframe, it’s just normal we’re going easy on you.”

There was that soft smile on his face again as he kept looking at Lance, his now pure white hair sparkling, dyed a soft red on the edges from Red’s barrier. It was there a short moment before disappearing again, replaced by a more concerned expression.

“Lance… you seem, distant. Not just with me but with everyone else. Did something happen?”

Going for the kill much, eh? But that was normal for someone as observant as Shiro, even as weakened as he was.

“I just…” There was no way he was going to spring it on Shiro, not after everything he had endured. Poor man had it way worse than just a two minute cardiac arrest. “I’m just bummed out we had to sacrifice the Castle. We could have gone home so much rapidly with a wormhole. But at the same time I’m kind of glad because that’s more time to prepare myself for the earful my mom is going to give me.” 

He leaned toward Shiro with mischievousness in his eyes. 

“She’s so scary when she’s angry, scarier than Allura, I can tell you.”

This elicited a laugh from the man and Lance sighed with relief internally. If Shiro was able to laugh and relax, then he was recovering well. 

There was a lapse of silence and Lance took advantage of it for observing Shiro a bit more. Apart from the white hair and the missing arm, Shiro had dark bags under his eyes and he was still paler than habitual. His movements were hesitant and often with a delay as if he wasn't synced with his body just yet. 

A high pitched whistle cut his reflection short as the heavy rain starts again, shooting down rocks from outer space. Apparently having two moons meant asteroids would be launched toward the ground at pretty irregular intervals. Good thing they were with their Lions. It was dangerous yet as he watched it inside the protection of the barrier, Lance appreciated the show it made.

Up until some of those rocks began to drop directly on their protections, muffled noises making his hair stand on the back of his neck. It would have been fine on its own if the matter those rocks were made of didn’t fizzle and spark against the particle barrier, making the whole protected zone buzz around them. Lance felt his throat closes up as his attention was enraptured by the noise, cold sweat making his whole body shivers. His gaze who had been previously turned toward the sky was becoming vacant as the noise become louder and louder.

“Guess I'm not going back to Black just yet.” Joked Shiro before turning toward Lance with a concerned expression when the later doesn't come up with a quick retort but Lance was too busy trying to regulate his breathing, trying to ground himself to something that wasn’t his mind twirling and shifting. His muscles spasmed without his consent even as his arms were tightly crossed around his lithe frame, making his shivers more pronounced and painful. His face was flaming yet his whole body was freezing cold. 

“Lance?” 

Shiro’s voice seemed muffled like Lance was drowning, the water rushing and roaring in his ears as the buzz was the only constant thing he could hear. He couldn’t breath, he couldn’t breath, he can’t- 

A hand entered his field of vision and like breaking a spell Lance lurched forward, hunching over himself as sweat rolled from his forehead and his jaw hurt from gritting his teeth. There was still a thunder in his ears but now with Shiro in front of him, looking extremely worried, Lance could focus. He realized Shiro’s hand was pointed toward him in a placating way while Lance couldn’t quite make out what Shiro was saying, he automatically nodded.

Shiro carefully pulling him into a hug and making the both of them sit on the floor wasn’t what Lance thought would happen but it did make him feel a bit better. The weight of Shiro’s arm on his back and the warmth of it made him relax and with that, his breathing got more regular. Shiro’s hand was rubbing his sweat drenched back but for the moment, Lance didn’t care. He felt safe.

He didn’t really know when he began to cry or when he stopped, cocooned by Shiro’s larger body. There was a blank and a headache, muscles hurting and feeling gross all over. He felt spend, both emotionally and physically and if it weren’t for Shiro tethering him with his touches, he would probably have floated about a lot more. 

“Hey buddy, feeling better?” Shiro’s voice was soft, right next to his ear and Lance nodded slowly, sniffling. He felt like shit but it was definitely better than the high strung state his panic attack had left him in.

“Can you try and talk? I won’t push you but this, this is not something I can ignore, Lance.” 

Lance wiggled his fingers from where they were gripping Shiro’s shirt, trying to get feelings back into them. It felt like having tiny branches on his hands, difficult to move. It even felt like they weren’t really attached to his body. Just like his legs but that was going to have to wait a little. Shiro’s arm was deceptively comfortable. 

“Lance, you have to tell me. Bottling it up will only hurt you.”

“Did.”oh god, was that really his voice? Cracked and small. “- did it hurt when you died? Is it… ok to still be scared?”

“Lance, wha-”

“I don’t want to be s-scared, but I am! and it’s so awful because it wasn’t even that important, I just did what I thought was best but it had,” he couldn’t look at Shiro, couldn’t even talk louder than a fearful whisper because of the anvil on his ribs “,hurt, it had hurt so badly. But Allura was here and it was like, everything is alright, there’s nothing to worry about which is obviously crap but there was somewhere else to go and I felt fine! I was fine, maybe a bit jittery but we were all under duress and you - wel the other you - was under so much more stress. It seemed all unimportant and I thought I was fine. 

“I had been fine for a few weeks. There was just a lot to, a lot to be concerned about like Lotor or your clone, the Galras and all so we couldn’t just take a pause - well except for the M&M game we did which had been fun - and think through it. And now, now? There’s nothing to do but think and my sleep who had been pretty bad is just going worse and I can’t hear this stupid-” his breath hitched just thinking of it, could swear he could hear it “- stupid crackling sound without going full tilt into panic but I can’t complain! I can’t complain! You died and was replaced by a clone whom had us all fooled but also he was so genuine? 

“I can’t go to anyone else because they’ll just think I want to be dramatic or bother them because obviously it wasn't’t that bad but...” His breath caught on a sob as he fought really hard not to cry again. “but now I’m just pouring it all on you and that’s just unfair because you were dead for months and there was someone else in your spot and me? Nothing apart a lion swap and… “He forced his hands to stop cramping so hard, gasped on a breath that was more of a hiccup than anything, “and feeling my muscles spasming and my heart stopping but I told you, Allura was there so it’s nothing to be worried about. So why am I still scared about it?” 

There was silence, a shocked, muted thing that hangs between them as Lance fought to keep his breathing under control yet again, fought not to cry even more than he already did as Shiro was looking at him with extreme concern. 

“You died?” Shiro’s voice was so soft as if not to scare Lance more and the boy could only be grateful for it. he was sure that if Shiro had been a bit less in control of his reactions, that would have set off a chain of reaction none of them would have liked to endure.

Lance nodded and choked back more tears. 

“I’m sorry to make it all about me, you’ve got it so much worse and I told you, it was just for not even two minutes. And now,” his laugh was clipped and rough “now I’m just whining because I had a small heart attack.”

“Lance…” Shiro’s voice was still soft but there was this edge that was making it impossible to ignore and Lance lifted his gaze to look at Shiro, tears rolling down his cheeks. "How could you do that to yourself?"

Lance frowned, not really understanding where Shiro was going.

“How can you believe for one moment you dying is ’fine’?” Shiro’s voice, albeit still low was now laced with something akin to anger but way more worried. “How can you negate your own experiences just because someone ‘had it worse’?”

“But… that’s…” Lance was cut off by Shiro, who used his hand to lift Lance’s chin so they would be eye to eye.

“You died. This isn’t nothing. This is something traumatic that happened to you. Dying is not something one is prepared to endure, whatever the cause. Coming back… it’s even harder to know. Some will, some won’t; we’re the ones that lived on and that should be something you need to focus on. Not whether or not you are entitled to a ‘tough luck buddy’ by someone who experienced the same. 

“Is this why you are so withdrawn currently? Because you think you are undeserving of comfort?”

Lance sniffled, shaking his head. His head, while clearer was still all over the place but he felt calmer. 

“I’m sorry, Shiro… I thought… the longer I acted like I was fine, the quicker I would be.” 

“That’s not how it works.” 

“I know that, now.” Lance laughed, a sharp sound he quickly put a stop to, cheeks growing hot. 

“We’re your friends, Lance. We are here to help you. I am here to help you. You just have to ask.”

Lance nodded as he placed his head back on Shiro’s shoulder. He missed this, his missed the physical contact and the reassuring presence of their friend and leader during these few days were the clone had been into cryostasis. Lance knew this conversation wasn’t going to fix everything immediately but it was a start. Tomorrow he’ll go talk to the others, tomorrow he will start walking down the path of recovery. 

“ _Shiro? I need help._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who had been encouraging me while I was writing this part. Some pretty shitty stuffs happened to me IRL and I couldn't have continue writing if it weren't for their support. So, thank you everyone.


	4. -Hunk-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk  
> A strong presence, but the softest kind of strong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!!!  
> Thank you for sticking to this series for so long, especially since I've hit a rough patch and currently have troubles writing! I'm really hoping you love this chapter as much as you did the others! Hunk is a character that I loved as much as Lance since he first appeared on screen and I've never really done him justice before. But now he's here and he's going to try doing the best he can for his best friend!!!

"Lance?"

His breath caught in his throat as he looked down at the fizzling black screen. His mind had a hard time getting back on track due to his nightmare and subsequent panic attack so he tried to shake it off.

"Hunk, buddy, what's up?"

"Dude, did you drop your tablet again? The video is not working on my side."

Lance made a face at that but he could hardly deny it. He did drop it often and Hunk was always on the receiving hand of its repairs. And since they were all busy with what happened recently and their travel back to Earth, Lance didn't have the heart to spring more work on his friend. Thus his tablet remained broken albeit still functional. Somewhat.

"Yeah, I did. Sorry 'bout that. But why are you awake so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Hunk retorted, his voice carrying an air of exasperation. "You're usually way more difficult to wake up."

Lance shifted a bit on his bed, thinking about that. It might have been true some times ago but there had been a shifting point were the tiniest sound could make him unable to close his eyes. He always used the headphones he borrowed from Pidge when it was the case but his friend had less and less patience about letting him borrow her possessions that she snapped at him one day. Since then, he had to make do.

But it was fine. Everyone was getting more and more stressed and being cooped in the Castleship all by themselves had to eventually lead to some biting each other's head off from time to time.

"Anyway, I just wanted to spend some time with you since we have the night for us. Things have been ectics and it's a good thing we can sleep on a planet and not while the Lions are on autopilot." Hunk added, his voice light and cheerful. "Soooo, can you ask Red to let me in? I brought snacks."

Snacks so early after such a nightmare and panic wasn't really a good idea but at the same time... settling his upset stomach with some delicious food made by Hunk would do him some good. Probably. And he missed just being with Hunk. Distancing yourself from your friends sucked. major. ass. Lance also knew he would need the time it took Hunk to come from Yellow to finish calm his frayed nerves.

"Yeah, uh. Whenever you're here, she'll do that-"

"I'm just outside with the cow. I'm coming in."

That was not enough time. Not enough time at all to get his footing back. But the communication had already ended and Lance could feel the slight shift from Red lowering her mouth to let Hunk in. If he was fast enough, he could hide in the bathroom but seriously, who would do that?

"Hey buddy." Hunk's soft tone of voice was enough not to make him jump but he still looked up in alarm. His friend was at the entryway, hands full with a tray which smelled wonderful even from where he was sitting and hanging over one of his large shoulder was.. 

"Is that my jacket?" Lance asked, voice hesitant and he regretted the hopefulness in it. He had wanted to leave it back at the castle because it was filled with so much memories but seeing it now made him feel the longing of familiarity it had given him this part year.

"Yeah. I found it in the kitchen while I was preparing the boxes and it felt weird to just leave it there. And I didn't feel like giving it to you in passing so right now is as good as I could have it."

That made sense. Pacified with only Hunk's warm presence and some food, Lance wouldn't avoid him or go do something else. They also won't be pestered by anyone else because they were all asleep and they were as safe as can be. Unless the ground literally opened under their feet, nothing was going to jump on them.

Lance still felt the sting of tears in the corner of his eyes and he rubbed at them, cursing his fragile spirit that made him want to tear up at Hunk's thoughtfulness.

"And frankly it's a good thing we stopped on this planet because now you can't escape from me." He said with a serious tone of voice, which made Lance increasingly worried. This was such a turn of feeling his hand froze were it was going to take what looked like a croissant from the plate. Hunk was very sensitive to mood shifts and he would pick up on Lance slinking at the corner of their group.

"Haha, what? are you talking about?" He tried to be nonchalant but it appeared more strained than anything.

"Do you really think I'm that stupid, Lance? I've been watching you avoiding everyone, me included for the past few days. I thought at first it was you being bummed out because we lost the Castle but it had lasted far too long. Now I'm going to ask you just once. And I want a sincere and honest answer: are you ok, buddy?"

Lance fought himself to keep looking at Hunk and his extremely concerned gaze. The urge to look away and hide himself was strong but he willed himself to be stronger than this. This was his best friend, the person he could talk about nearly anything and yet... yet he had been withholding some serious informations from him.

Shuffling to be closer to Hunk, Lance leaned until his forehead was against his friend's upper arm, his fingers twisting the covers under them. He needed to tell him, at least.

"I'm... not really." Lance sighed, tension leaving his body and leaving him near boneless as Hunk shifted is position to hold him more closely.

"Remember that mission with the Omega Shield? The one you brilliantly guided us through?"

"Yeah. I do. I yelled at Galra officers." They exchanged quiet chuckles before Lance become quiet again, for another moment as he tried to think of a way to breach the subject with tact.

"Yeah so, uh. When everything went to shit I jumped to protect Allura, right?"

He felt Hunk nod more than he saw it, his gaze fixated on the way his hands were moving. His shirt was still clinging to his back and its coldness was making him uncomfortable. The battered fabric of his jacket was a familiar contact, just like Hunk was.

"I kind of... had a heart attack? Like I suddenly understood what the guys put on an electric chair felt when the courant is on and all... so I died, for a minute. Or five. And Allura revived me with her glowy magic. And after that it was the fact Shiro wasn't our Shiro and you know I did everything I could, right?

"Well it wasn't enough so Shiro... Clone Shiro suffered through that, now he's dead. And our Shiro, the real one was dead, had called to me some months ago but I couldn't do a thing about that, so Keith went in and resolved everything. I feel guilty everytime I look at Shiro but I know I shouldn't. And we had to leave everything we were familiar with, making it explode and... on top of that I just have nightmares upon nightmares about when I died and I can't stand being near you when you are working on a project because the noise always throws me into panic..." Hunk's hand found its way to Lance's head, fingers slowly rubbing his scalp as Lance felt tears welling up in his eyes.

"So I'm not sleeping right, I'm anxious most of the time - and when I'm not I'm kind of numb. Everyone have their own problems and I didn't want to dump it on them. Pidge have enough on her shoulders, Shiro is still too fragile and I don't want to use my guilt to trick him into trying to fix me, Keith is over stressing himself to look over Shiro. Allura is still heartbroken, Coran I spotted him cry about the loss of the Castle two days ago. Romelle and Keith's mom? I don't know them enough to dump it on them. They shouldn't have to worry about this."

Lance was full on sobbing, fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he gripped at Hunk like a lifeline as he get his thoughts of his mouth. His friend's embrace grew more encompassing and sturdy. Lance appreciated it.

"I didn't want to involve you because I thought it wouldn't be fair either."

"Oh Lance... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let you stew in this train of thought for this long. And you were alone all this time..."

Hunk shifted his position so he could hold Lance better, never letting go of him once. The hand in his hair was still stroking but it was now more pronounced and grounding. All of it felt really nice and soon his tears pettered to soft sobs as his hands felt numb from clutching at Hunk so hard.

“I should have been here for you, Lance. I’m so, so sorry.” Hunk voice was soft but strained with guilt now. And while Lance’s mind still felt fuzzy from all the crying and the previous panic attack, it didn’t felt right for him to have Hunk so sad over him. 

“Stop that train of thought buddy.” Hunk warned, voice scolding “We’re a family, Lance; We got through a lot together and we all care about each other. We all care about you. Hiding yourself like that will only make it worse. Every experience is valid.”

“Do you think my mom would be proud of me?” Lance asked with a soft voice, rubbing his eyes of tears, a faraway look in his eyes.

“Of course she would. You’re the bravest, most selfless person I’ve ever met. You’re the one cheering all of us, you’re grounding us. I know you said that Allura was the heart of Voltron but you? You’re its core. We wouldn’t be anything without you.” 

Lance smiled at that, cheeks growing warm not from the panic attack anymore but from the giddy feeling that was building inside of him.

“You’re such a sap, Hunk.”

“I know. We’re going to work on making you feel like yourself again, just like we’re doing with Shiro. It’ll take time, but we’ll be all in this together.”

“Aaahw, you’re really the Ryan to my Chad.”

Hunk chuckled at that but hugged Lance tighter.

“We’ll tell the others tomorrow. Right now, you need to sleep. And I’m not going to leave you all alone again. Because we’re bros and we’re Voltron. We were legs and legs sticks together. I haven’t left your side in years, I won’t do it now.”

“ _Thank you, Hunk. I’m glad to have you by my side._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the peeps still reading To Hear your Voice and kudo-ing it! Comments are always appreciated but knowing I've struck your attention long enough for you to hit that heart is always warming my heart and pulling a smile on my face.  
> I hope everyone have a good day whenever you read that final note and I blow kisses from my screen as I am continuing this series!  
> Only 6 more people to write about and I will be done with this series!  
> It's the most intense one for me to write currently and it's always making me nervous because I both want to fix s6 (and even more so since s7 came out, but I can't attack it yet!!!) and hit maximum feels!!!
> 
> I also wanna thanks @noakanoa on tumblr because friends need to stick together and you encouraged me so, so much!! Can't thank you enough, boo <3

**Author's Note:**

> Now who could be calling, uh? Well why don't you tell me? I'll be writing in order of those who get the most vote!
> 
> Little Edit:  
> You know, I decided to write To hear your Voice firstly because the canon bothered me by not addressing Lance’s death, not letting him deal with how traumatizing it was to DIE like that and have none of his friends wonder if something is wrong with him. Because why would it be? Lance is the goofy one, the loverboy one whose feelings for Allura are a source of amusement for his friends.  
> So I decided FUCK THAT, I’M CORRECTING THIS!
> 
> Thus To Hear Your Voice is born, out of spite and out of love for Lance and his relationship with his team.   
> The format is also something I pondered and went “fuck it, let’s do that”: a first chapter that install the setting then a chapter for each nine person in his mismatched space family.
> 
> everyone of them (Keith, Shiro, Allura, Hunk, Pidge, Coran, Matt, Krolia and Romelle) deserves to be the one to ‘first’ talk to him about how he feels, about his behavior, his trauma and his fears&hopes. Each one deserves to deal with it as genuinly as I can make it without the added “oh no that’s OK, I already talked to [insert name here]”.   
> Consequentially, each chapter will be separate to one another, tagged properly and added to the first chapter of this fic as I know if some of you probably don’t want to read a character in particular, you have the choice to skip it to your favorite one.


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